so sip this delicately aged whine

an elegant tough once trapped behind the rhine

river me this river me that, i'm a phoenix with a

base ball bat, remark and eat my gat, room left to let.

what's on the line?

what do you want to bet?

titi, pork and pine?

or what's your's vs mine?

one life's all you get.

frankly i just want to hear the rap i want to hear with the proper production value.

what that means is i ain't doing anything i have to try at other than eat too much and try and look human and get more aggressive i'm on vacation and it is kicked to the curb for a while until i feel good, i ain't in a huge hurry, if somebody else does, good, if he fucks up i'll kill him.

what this means you fucking assholes is i am trying flat out....... you try having lock jaw and the sweats and stop and go life and despair deeper than real feelings when it won't so pleasewhat i am saying is you're a customer cronie, i got some dirt on my shoulder, could you brush it off for me?

the thing that none of your realize that i do is that i am going to be happier too, cuz i am not some freak stretched this way or the other, i am going to be so happy, we are never going to have anything but warm rains.

i'm still putting this shit therapy here because i feel like it. i don't care if you do. i'm big lonely and boring, it will be okay if everyone lays off... cuz shit happens or it doesn't i don't not care it is just not under my control i can'rt wise up before others do.

New Rodeo...

hands free dialed up collars

the matador found a jester

more his own size

flipside clownaround upside down.

joker has his horns out

charging grass ground(,)

to

sand in hand hour empty
as the glass menagerie
softly waits for
us to refract through
them our reflections
give meaning,
nothing to sell.

i got some dirt on my shoulder,
could you brush it off for me?

niggas is crazy baby don't forget that boy told ya...

kick that dirt off yure shouldas

i Am the darkest
because i am the light

i am white trash

completely alone

thrown out to hone

himself down whittled

a crown out of the bones

of his former adversaries

keep the balance tarried

and it won't matter how far

a head i am

behind in life.

and anyone who cares....

wah wah weeh wah wah... i freestyle, you bore me.

to anyone who needs to know how to do this... you should have read so much as a child that it hurt but it's too late for that now, you have to pay attention, that comma is open ended.



and



i AM going to figure all this shit out, me and my fucking friends, meand the gang, what ever fuck, this blog is for me only.... if you don't get the fuck of my site, leave.

i just found some roaches and smoked em and the reflections on the grass always look like simple protection of my ass but i learn fast, i'm a natural master obviously the original long laster i'm obiously the herbal word blaster I'm so Lickacunt then Sasser just wait till this ringer gets feeling back in his e.t. finger and dials loose circles that have let you linger

like i need a fucking winger

i am the bringer of pain

and joy, a boy with his toy

i get now why you all aree so mad, because THIS is a joke, it's cool, like the highschool experience with people who can almost match my wits i never had, but i never thought it was something, and i didn't get why you guys were so serious, because you can't tell the difference between shit therapy and art, i am trying hard here to figure this shit ALL out, you pussies settle into dada ism i'm going to continue pushing shit until one of you reveals himself, and so forth.... plus i am almost there, i understand you all now and there for don't really care, i'm onward and downward you understand, that i will have friends, but as for study, dumber is a downer. loneliness is like a sneeze that never really comes on,

you're all making me very angry,

nobody's my favorite,

not a single one of you

has any ideas...

wtf do you think you're all doing anyways???

you are all worse than robots

placating, alleviating fustration

that could get pent up enough to blow.


fuck i am pissedx righty now... i have no weed and no money.

jerks jerks jerks and i don't care

about you anymore, just quit getting

in my way or you will be sorrier than i was

my entire life.


i don't care if you all like it more when i am sae and blah blah poemy fuck off, i am running out of things i need fixed around me, of coure i am on to fixin you in place



TOE STEPPING pins people's feats

to the ground down.

and to everyone everywhere, you're all big losers

and i am not

i am a killer

with only one

target in mind.



btw i hate all of you
in case you didn't already
know this:

no one has ever been nice too me

so i don't see why i should care.

you should have been more careful

cuz this is a death march

and a funeral dirge

and all i want to do is strangle someone...

you best all stop being idiots, cuz

i am feeling as fucking crasy

as you had previously made me out to be

well now you're fucked

cuz i really don't care

anymore.

i am the darkest

definetely not the

i am one with the all

that was and isn't.

so quit your mother fucking whining and

fucking do something about this shit morons.

i'm trying to you fucking idiots, who the

fuck do you think iu arm??

and i need to be exactly where i am

you are all fucking morons, and if you

don't like it, go fuck yourself

because i don't feel like any double penetration

my ass has been reamed and there's still

a giant cock hanging out of it.


get the fuck ouyt of here.

i already can do this

and all of you are retarded

for real,

and if you can't understand that i am building a verbal tank, go the fuck away...

i'm rapping now,

and i hate all of you`

and I am going to kill.

i have 5 dollars until thursday, and i am really horny...

cept, i don't want you to feel good, i want you to wake up... what the fuck?

oh yeah and

having the sex...

so completely for losers

i spent the night in st bruno

and saw many bands

and drank too much

and i am completely broke.

something new for crazy christ.s trying to talk some sense into youo: my dad's gonna do your da in the bum bum until he dies....

ha ha what i know most of all above you is the physical world... c'mon.

i know i am the age of beauty,
that this sadness steals the sublime,
but would you take the time to find it?,
to give up the rhyme and bind it?





i am so dyslexic when i'm
drunk, whatever, shit all
sounds the same to me,
a cross to bored.

ooh ooh oooh before i take the metro... band name

Mu(pronounced mew moron) and the Evil Ohmen

see how i brought that forward

and back to the old me?

no? well you really are too stupid to live.

well i'm off to practice being less scared of women i'm attracted to....

or to practice for being attracted only to girls who scare me..... whatever.

ah tommorrow im supposda go to a show in st bruno...

i think i will

i think i am going to go out all by myself tonight.... weeee

cuz NOW it's finally funny, enough that i'm not laughing, have to shit, fall asleep for three hours and stock videos, beat my life, can't, well then beat off to it...

get harder than that....

is it sweet yet in my pants?

who the fuck cres, look how hot i am now...

bitter sweet salty all are flavours you are going to have to start getting used to.

and that's the one i am sticking to now...

and for all of those who think they know wtf i am talking about, you are so totally qwrong, i was talking about the girl that works on the third floor that i say when i was standing in line? for the bathroom and i all had to piss and she was all hey fucking fat boy lets size you up and i was all, i'm not chubby,big boned and my moms italian, to which she replyed with a hand in my crotch an then i was all like ah shit, and got all too hard, and then she was all like do a hand stand and piss in my mouth and then i all did and then she all poulled some snl bit with norm macdonald and a dummy and splutteringly tried to sing a song as i pised down her throat, i sang every line before she did, fortunately she vchocked and was taken off in a stretcher (you saw her as you left) and she didn't realize that the entire premise for the GAGA i understood beforehand and worked it to piss in her mouth.

if you read all of what i've written, you're the crazy one, stick to the sidebar until you've read miller, purdy, bukowski and thompson, get the fuck out my swirling cesspool, unless you realllly waaant it, then, well, what the fuck am i talking about, that shit makes you wet the bed, keeps reading, i'll keep getting completely fucked up.

fuck yeah, fuck all a y'all, i am so motherfucking hot i upset myself motherfuckers.

being a precog is like having to watch picture in picture of ebert and roeper along with every block buster... fuck

hey yo yeahyo would be better than this, pit falls and dusts himself off for the next high profile part.

yu-no? no? why the fuck not fuck it's pretty simple moron.

the future always repeats itself

now i am listening to a bunch of poopy rap cuz my roomate has no taste or ambition either

this is a poopy day...

i was really looking forward to money,

now i am poor for real real fuck, i have to quit drinking


but i didn't instead i blew the rest of my paycheck making an ass out of myself in front of a girl that doesn't suck from FUCKING WORK cuz that's smoother than smooth and that's not at all one of my names, legal or ak(a stolen assault)


what?? um yah, hey idiot, what's that???

i guy knocking you on the head from behind with a blackjack hand you'd obviously won.


ah? wtf am i talking about??... i guess being stupid and calling a bunch of stupid shit by accident and lloking like you'd seen a snl episode before when you'd just seen a like bit... or maybe nothing....


but you can't be sure... so of course you feel like you are up to your old tricks and there for hold your old bits (i'm better than you, i am scaree of you, i just puked all over my shoes what do you expect me to make cocktail conversation now?... etc) no tits in the near future
heroine lasts longer than my love, but definetly has less frequent cravings than once every 7 seconds.
Anonymous | Homepage | 04.22.05 - 4:58 am | #

and begin
with apair of balls
see how you fare gainst cat calls

and groping in the dark.

wtf am i talking about?

wtf am i talking about?

nothing anymore cuz i just got it figured the way i want it, nay the way i need it to be.... so fuck off, i d''t caare THAT much, i need a real friend (someone who has already slept with me and thinks they own me is close enough), an i am sofucked, and i am not a fucking psycho, and i am not a fucking junkie and this sore is a scar that i am proud to brandish at the next cock fight.... i hate me as much as i hate you probably more cuz i think everything i do is stupid, c'mon play cupid its alright if you need someone lost your damn run are scared and all to close to sacred... give it up give it in give over zealously forgetting jealousy.

OF course we all get touched improperly sensitive FUCK

i'm just trying to not be korn right now so i keep eraing my boom nana ooon nana eeeenahs

and i want you all to read this, that's why i wrote it, and it's the only thing between me, my handicapped upstairs neighbor and a police intervention...

i will never have sex again... and that's the way i want it fuck, it's obvious.... what?? i can't hear you did you just say I am a creepazoid collage that has tried once to many to whip it???

before the creep sets out too long... i
must rip it up torn upon the shadows.

I JUST GOT SOME WEED, SO YOU CAN ALL STOP worrying that i'm gonna kill SOMEONE i swear i'll only hurt myself.... i miss you all, and one day, i'll mean it when i say
i love you

i have NO WEED!!!!!

AND I AM FREAKING MORE THAN OUT.... FUCKING STEVE PICKED UP AND LEFT ME WITH NO WEED.... I FUCKING HATE YOU.

I HATE ALL OF YOU, FOR REAL, I AM saaaaaaadddd and all of you should really fuck off, i mean it, and that inclludes girls talking nice about me cuz they think it wqill help, NO NO NO, i am a bigger fucko then you will ever understand, fuck you fuck yoiu fuck you, fuck you.



ffffuuuuuucccckkkk

fuck wtf should i write to get rid of this, i can't i am so fucking pissed right now, i hate me so much, and i hate all of you that made me so much more, so much more than hatred.

you got some trick to ignore me, you wish you could big lore me
but i ain't no babe with a blue ox this is pure cock rock, fuck you.. fuck it... i still don't care......... FUCK ALL OF YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU, NONE OF YOU ARE COOL, I'M OUT (OF THINGS TO SAY)

how is it yours? the earth moves and cracks of it's own accord....


and i am all alone with this you fucking asshoeles... fucking help me, please....

FUCK ALL OF YOU with the new school old school whatever, i am all a fucking lone and i am tired, i am sad and sacred and lonely and i want to hold you, and i don't know how else to say it, i have no weed, no reason, no friends, i am all alone and i don't know how , so fuck all of you in your he's a sick mother fucxker, aFUXK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU, fuck fuck fuck fuck i don't care and none of you understand anythint..... FUCK YTOU FUCK YOU it hurts alot to be this alone and none of you will eve3r understand that i just want me to stop touching me, eberything is too close, and i fewel so fucking ghross, and i can taste cock in my mouth, go fuck all yourselves till you bleed out the mouth... and i 'm not even erasing this... someone lewave me alone....

seriously i can't begin to be wexplaining how much i hate abstaining, refraining from telling you how i understand befor eyou get out of hand eaplaining complaining obtaining, claiming the rights to my next god given night end up in a fight with the unrefractable light.

the thing is i got two problems i am horny andn realluy annoyed wqith all of you and thirdly the girls i like make me throw up inside my pant and inside my mouth.

blah boredom

this girl tonight was all like "fuck me in the ass"

and i was all like that was so two months ago and wishing that she had just wanted to get fucked. i'm npot saying gettiung fucked in the ass isn't hot, but only when tyou is a skinny rich bitch, otherwise i get all pukey....

(thats how long i've been dying)

obviously for 16 years i've been blaming SOMEONE for it, it just that is NONONE'S FUCKING FAULT, it's just FUCKING GROSS... FUCK ALL OF YOU FUCK.

obviously for 16 years i've been blaming SOMEONE for it, it just that is NONONE'S FUCKING FAULT, it's just FUCKING GROSS... FUCK ALL OF YOU FUCK.

do you understand that tonight i freestyled some idiot ndg kid and i was all like "could you like spit a little on rythm and he wa all like i spit best acapella and i was all like oh okay i'll just recite some poems now, and then he got all ah bla flle na when he tried tosspit aftyer my first one and then i was all like eat it bitch, and then i was all like , i feell like a big jerk and got alll red in the face and left and all drug myn face out tha6t place.

listening to a sampld beethoven beat we made right now, ca't stop rapping in my head fuck i wanna sleep now....???

GENOCIDE
IS A SUICIDE

GENOCIDE IS A SUICEIDE

DON'T CATCH ME, STHC A RIDEON THOSE WHO'CE PLYED TRIED SIGHED AGAINST THE SADNESS COMIN ON FOR SHEEEX

genocide is a suicide

id you can'rt

you xan't ride
iove just arriv3ed
genocide is a suicide
is a suicide
is a suicde
don't confide
in me
i'll know you've led


gebnocide is a suicide
everynighty i've cried still doesn't wash away the sorrow untill tommorrow i'm holding on

holding stong

cfonvitions
againsrt the tide that wikill
tow the line it came iupon

even if i'm qwrong,

this is all too rtight give4 up yout fights i AMthren end of nights chomp, bow spit omve thrtough it wahtever don't quit cus i need to abuse it no unit i uae it untill the day is doone and i've bergun to let go tyhe verbal flaow is all i do let kill younr whole krew set there and srtew.... gla gla fla ve pa neen you know what i mean? no? get the fuck out mtyblowe.

when i stop flappin my ;lips
i ain't tsopped rappin in the dips
full force undercurrent boring through my head
instead this is the apocalypse
and gathered at the acropolis trips
through time and n-space
curving back to fit in place
the tie that binds your ass to
you kind
falling through your face
this is a souldown
let me see your solid gold crown
i'm now officially out on the town

and this MAN is going to get laid
one day
unpaid dues collect
sans detect i'm the prefect in the shadows
the precog in the sad throes
of passion
long out of fashion, long been mashing
cogs to wheels roiund and peel
out in the parking
gay men remarking
on how mucuh they
NEED to take you home
full range arching out to
the friends who
were strange narcing out to

whoever never cared

forever never fared
well for thoase who paired
so forcefully
remorseful we back down
when we should c45raqck down
raining terror on the ground
we are they sky

AND I AM DR. ZEUS

i am so back, so get the fuck back

try to hack out in the burbs?

you can't it's absurd, feel the word bird

fly the coup

i'm in no state

to sit back and re-group

dupe supa poop loop

and once again.

two bush in hand one in the sky

of course not even a hummingbird could catch me at work

fuck i can't believe i didn't see anything


i want the bird in flight, where are you

second level accreditation?

so tyler blew his face off for HER

i thought to burn myself in a
horrible chemical lye

for the river

i've got a better solution

how about you keep me on the payroll

i go whereever i want on your ticket

and in exchange i promise never to tell people

these horrible things that i know

Jazz was almost right,

--chaos almost won--

However one gen. off(,)

later

Damien.

and i'm completely fucking

serious.

i am not going to die,

i was stillborn.

i don't undertsand little stpid shits who don't understand that the hardest shell is this hardened steel cage of imposed normalcy....

i AM this retardedly there

and it's not in math that i see it..

happening in my environment,

my genius is becoming completely INVOLVED

in the pattern i am creating from EVERY
sensory PERCEPTION

iu make music out of shit sewer pipes

i will never sever segments secrettly like that

i swallow you whole.

"everytime it rained, we had to cut power, after a month i didn't even mind the warm stale refridgerator" so fuck of or its never back on.

"can i be next?"

absolutely, because effeicency is prority number one

politeness is not getting in my fucking way,

i won't ask to do things i know i'm allowed to because that's a waste of fucking time
and worse wasting my time pisses me off

the icon can be corndlower blue if you want


idiots.

and i'm growing a set of balls
big enough to crush you all

roll , rolling over till i'm poor

roll rolling over out the door

roll rolling over up the gore

roll roling over and more in store.

this is not pop

this is fucking rock and roll

deal with it,

we had to

that's it fuck


just wait three fucking weeks,

till i have some fucking money

and some equipment

and some fucking tail

there's a lot of shit i've been putting

on/off.

fuck all of you,

i'm this grumpy.

there's only this

little

time left

for you to understand.

that uncertain smile

faded into sarcasm at the corners

and that bright spot

behind your eyes;

says you know it all,

is why i love you,

is why i am not lonely

even though i am alone here.

kinda bleh right now,


i cut my hair yesterday
and razed down my beard

i look like such a space monkey
i am so fucking crazy, it is fun

i really need some people that
get excited as me when they think
the destruction of everything

this is the beginning

for everyone

the end

for no one will no more
than those behind

anyone older than me
would be farther from
the truth as i now understand it
unless they were a hell of a lot

smarter.

Great morning


someone tell me anything

please try

your best never

to try again

i'm going to sleep,

Good
night

if you can't tell that i was listening to the white stripes and
laughing a bunch

get the fuck of my site and go d/l some fucking white stripes losers.

if you can't tell that i was listening to the white stripes and
laughing a bunch

get the fuck of my site and go d/l some fucking white stripes losers.

people don't even know me
but they know how to show me.

people never clever enough to reach me
but they still kill to teach me.

from the; mumbling, stumbling, each me
to the curse worse then leech me

but i am no longer your rainbow

i am unrefractable white light
so bright that it is (at it's) darkest

live wire acts
on 3 story stacks
of chips which
are slowly falling over

sliver plated glass bats
with sonar seeking gas gats
training craniums in every corner
it was saftey nets and baseball bets
which bred everything in B tween
Now there are 50 dollar sets
that mcGill students get
as the market's been dropped to a scene

musical stats
and trivia fat cats
had even me turned
day growl green

in the pale blue light
by the end of this night
all the colors will have
stained themselves weened

but the primary white
mixed down stage left
for the off hand right
stumbling around deft
will soon be a loon
reflecting

BUFFOONS


so croon as i might
i've just not got the; pipes,
bars, or the gripes

i'm just
one kibble chomping a bit
to burn them(blow,spit), and wipe it
on the stars and stripes' shit.



sometimes i am an idiot and forget to do things out loud
becuase i think they're gonna be stupid,
that's stupid, they're always good, fucking 7s again?
but then i can add a bunch of stuff, so it's okay both way, i guess sometimes the future is, now it isn't

it's really hard you know, to be the poet, cuz everyday having to write yourself perfect before you can have your life is annoying with all the problems you morons have.

okay so after taking on the world

*check* it (theres no check mark thingie, that's so jay)

gonna take a brief nap

before verbally assaulting my home town.

He's back in boldblack
slakhackjobs
lack thesub tleties
of crack head

or hand jobs

but it took ME
months to figure out
so it's obviously better

this way



less vomit

you should stop patting yourselves on the shoulders right about now, since the chips have fallen where they may (nother stolen freestyle) and to my dismay I must say I'm not impressed with any of you FUCK

of course pretty poet dancer
is a front

man
about
town you got the get down

and stay,

stay

stay

good,

see I'm no pet

neocon is just a neocon




i stole that shit from a freestyle, what the fuck are you going to do about it?

and it's always art, because the shit before it was the shit i put in front of it so you wouldn't get so sad but i don't care about you the same fake way, anymore, i am sad for yous and sad for all of us, but that is a nega(neocon[cept]ser)torrie so you all feel sad i am going to fucking strangle you until your face loses some color properly purple.

post already, borebot

i'm soon to hit this trance and you missed the big red bus to hell
and he'll never get his face back and
(or his craium or his brains or) torso treaded
twice as softly

down the riddle.

btw obafs
don't knead,

cuz the tuff cuffs
as he coughs up the dough

and this tuff ghost
doesn't have lungs...

haha

the first cryptic post is a tshirt i'll be wearing next time you see me

or maybe i'll be wearing

"I'm Prettier Than Your Boyfriend"

since i made it up....

lesbos and future boys line up
for




fitting
one size fits all.

i've been up for three days


withoutrealdrugsofcourse

now three hours of sleep, guess who i am.

who am i?
moi.?
i hardly think so

more like

anyone you want me to be sugarlips


i just said that on smarty pants, ex's brother's site, haha

you all wanna know the first and soul reason i get to got to do this






so I'll tell you :

my aunghs are all over this page, and my tracks and they make you want to drop to your knees and suck
the chills were the last thing a poet would let you have

that funny feeling
the fact that they are there means
i have relinquished the sword
because i have TOTAL CONTROL

i am givibng this away because

YOU

will never be me.

the fact that THIS IS

and here, means

I AM A GREEK GOD

like never before

shut the fuck up and fuck do as i am now and have always told you, telling you 2 kut IT out

you guys all had it all backwards, so (i) did (i) to me the worst thing you ever could but i'm here you idiots, and i'm twice as smart as

you had even phantomsized


i didn't have to come back down you jealous fucking ASSSHOLES (ooooooo THAT'S getting me angry) i had to push through it, fucking morons, you fucking shit eating pieces of my pattern get in place before i fucking destroy you.

because i act u ally need to you idiots.....

BTW that whole reverse golden rule thing means that my life was a big lesson about how to treat me and each other you idiots, i'm the only one who runs around like that.

by the way the big thing in my way was my own giant brain being all like
"i'm too occupied with trying to make up logic for other people's completely trans parent, self serving, bullshit" um of course i'm smarter than you, of course we're not getting married, of course you're going to fuck me even though i insulted your shoes and your shirt... OF COURSE i hope i'm wrong

what this means is that im on holiday you fucking numbskulls im kickin it all the way to the curb

you don't understand why i can do this and you can't


i'm taking control of my brain

and you are all idiots, i am obviously crazy enough to believe you if you would just tell me, it's you who is akward you idiots drove me crazy if i hear another yellow note imgonnascreamandream your green up your ass trumpit first again, i dare: say

i not only write better than et(.) al of you, i am

but you can't so you want me
to(o) but it don't stop

i just shoulda had a girlfriend till this bit obviously

i still like girlfriends,

but i think its easier done

then said

and me first as always

i don't think you know how pissed off i am now, i don't think you can even imagine

or try

because i don't care about any of you you fucking morons, i am going to tell you what to do now.

im okay i think, im a big genius and pretty hot, and NOW i can actually freestyle, if i want to, go fuck yourselves, all of you, all of you....

http://home.ripway.com/2005-3/279410/1stcut.mp3
too long but funny, somepoems +ryhmes, tired and no caring
but funny

http://home.ripway.com/2005-3/279410/2ndcut.mp3

really sad and tired.........

sadsadsad sadsasd sadsad sadsadsadsadsadsadsadsad
sadsadsadsadsadsadsad
sadsadsadsadsadsad


i'm gonna hit another bong

those pretty people gave me an adavan but
fuck it didn't do anything

but thanks anyway poem whom i hope i never see again.

im sad, i say weasels away from your easels, i really want to not do this, so bad i can't

not

i wish so much of that stuff was all stylised like i could make it, but they'll be no good like that until a novel, now, they would just be complete shit as they would have absolutely no instrutional or therapeutic value.

Any Place that isn’t Here
(with its crusted vinyl seats, slowly creeping mold mellowed by smoke)

The way smoke curls
off a half-finished cigarette,
rising a little too fast,
just a little too thin
to be beautiful,
that’s me.

The wind is turning colder now, i can feel it in my cheeks. My feet are still happy slapping the pavement as i skate home but something tells me before long i’ll be staying longer at work: smoking, having a pint, dreading that sudden bite when the door swings shut at 4:30 on a January morning, but for now i am a king and the men but my squires, every woman mine to have or cast off with the common disregard of royalty. Well, maybe not dominion over man and woman, but over all his lord(’)s creatures roaming the earth, or at least certainly those i feed. Complete control now, and drunk i have a remarkably spider like balance; weaving to avoid taxis, ollieing sewers and potholes, manueling medians, careening out of control into street lamps and wretched packs of roving international students (mostly female), apologizing anonymously before skating off as fast as i can. The laughter subsides and an elegant figure catches my eyes, a silhouette in a city of shadows, her hair is so slick it shone there for an instant, as i look away i see her turn and her face sticks on the corner of prince arthur and clark standing: smoking, staring straight at the void unflinching,
i will see her again.

The swirls in a cup of coffee,
and the twists in a remembrance of smoke,
curling a little too fast off a cigarette,
to be beautiful,
that’s me.


thats in the poems thing but i just remembered it as i skated home from retard ville

i'm all alone......

alonelylonerwhining to people who are only here for the sidebar, i hope(that nobody cares about the rest too much for now. tape everything for gods sake i wish you were, but allow me to edit it)

but of course it isn't, so much more creepazoid collage crying about the world and my future and the future and self indulging in an predictable past.

alright i'm trying to "responsibly" make this the last bong hit

and i'm talking to you (as well) bukowski, miller and thompson

and you know damn well what i mean , all of you.

im bitting a bunch of bud now, cuz i wanna die, but apparently like 5 people would rather i didn't but where the fuck are they now??

???

some more complete capote crying i guess, and then some bong then some more capote crying, then giving up cuz i'm not ready and look for a hand to hold through all my obvious defeats

i don't really wnana kiss anyone right now, i'd really like to fucking sleep through a movie on the couch with someone

doesn't anyone even wnat to kiss me anymore, fuck i hate my self.

you know, you all do(,) what i mean,
well you know that a promise while broken
from me is the last honour left upheld
through it the only part of me left

i am not here,

and i want to throw up all inside
your fucking vr helmets

here's the promise, please understand

set me free and i am yours forever

and you are mine, and together

we can do anything you ask.

i am a little scared of everything because i am sad about everything and angry that nobody else is and happy that if you leave me alone my brain makes sounds for me, because hes not really against me, he just doesn't get it yet, i am really sad sad, i'm sorry, i tell you cuz i figure to be honest that me crying for a few hours straight and rambloing on your site disturbs your less than anyone, certainly the ele distance obviously helps, but somehow i think you must care a little, the thing is thatafter all that shit the thing that scares me the most is that i am too tired to do anything anymore, i want to love someone you know, and that being so completely pathetic i am scared of having to watch everything go horribly wrong that you knew would, it has started and i want to sleep, these dreams as evil as reality
leave me screaming
and grinding me out
of existence

--where's my girl?

--someone tell me what to do...(unqualified)

two thoughts killing sleep right now

ring the alarm i guess

for real this time

because at least snow melts and gives way to make a match against gravity possible

someone tell me a pretty story

are there any left?

this is the age of beauty

i am a broken toy that nobody cares about

yet

again alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
aloe
alone
alone
alone
aloneL
L

i'm left with a tuneless beat

i am sad, i am going to copy and paste part of what i wrote onto my site cuz i am really sad, nobody get the simplest things true, i am the simplest thing, the lyric poet, i just need someone to hold the back of the bike for a while, because it doesn't offend me, i am broken and lopsided and i need a little help, so i guess what i am saying is caring is great, but i need help.

i'm a masterbaby

with nothing to say...

except that a lot of pretty people tonight tried to sing me pretty stories, but i k new them all and how they all really went and there were no more pretty songs left and i am sad
very sad i guess, i love you true, that was almost a pretty story, but i don't know if ANYONE is able anymore, and i am sad, and i missed the boat and i'll never cross now

or i am going to try and pick up for the first time in my life and pick up but obviously fuck up EVERYTHING,

and cry abunch cuz i feel like uberloser

would someone please tell me a pretty story?
i don't think i've any left
if you just tell me a prtety story
i will forget about the rest
would some one please tell me a story
ive on;y nothing left
any story any story
would someone please tell me a story
i'll forget our history
would someone please tell me a story
i'm scared there are none left.

i am getting mini speakers today and i am going to go playt my beats in retarded places and freestyle until the skyscrapers bendover and crack in the path of my verbal "lazers".

i just drank 3/4 of a bottle of royal crown, my heart is about to explode and i need to shit.

i should really erase all that but fuck you i am late for work and i don't give a good god damn.

oh and by the way this planet is retarded,

why should i make any sense?

you bastards (this ones just to cover the loving you all bullshit)

and one more time fore i hit the bong

you fucking bastards.

alright before my last bonghit
project for female bloggers seeking to rid the world of one more frustrated creepazoid open sore asshole:

next time you're out to get picked u, you bring a dictaphone, you let me know upon your review (or if lazy cunt who wants me to suffer through agonizing awkward pickup night of person i don't know) maybe send me audiofile, what worked, what didn't, why is this man poking me with an eggroll half covered in plum sauce? etc.... ahhh if i get anything that scientifically approached i might actually take it seriously, so be careful with the not responding at all to my drunken pjwefvokn2hjn and pijhnbjionghijndfpinj ing

i'm only going to say this once cuz you're all greedy capitalizing little bastards:

i still love yous all.


however i am still going to have to kill most of yous.

no more apologies.

not necessarily the people who comment, just comments, they suck i wish i was in bed with someone who cared, more than i did, and we could just fall asleep cuz we knew someone else would rather hear your shit than fall asleep cuz you still care, and then i would fall all over myself trying to fuck it up cuz i am an asshole.

id rather be talking to someone,

comments suck

bastards, now i have to smoke another monster bowl


jftr that wasn't a retaction, was an apology, i think (at least in my immediate state) that i meant exactly what i said, we'll see tomorrow and all, but this editor is going to hit a fat ass bong and hit his aptly named sac repeatedly, till he catches winks from the forty wiseunches gathered around my sweaty taint, bloody raw and all too obviously misabused.

ooooooohhh sorry everyone i called you everything instead

well if you didn't act like greek goods in a badly
wounded soap plot flounderdering ploughing the dough
maybe i'd think a little less of you than giant



immovable kinks in my warhose

of course that feels alot better now just sad and not as tired as i should be at 6 in the morning, i am sadsadsad i guess, but i think i might have to settle in to that one, if i want to avoid a sleep of sleeps, in the burning
cold snow of complete nothingness,
and completeness

atouchfurtherthanimaginable

i just packed a nice fat postbdayBong with as little tobacco as
fathomable and may that'll do something

maybe i'll sleep or maybe
i'll be happy

or maybe i'll have an aneurysm
holding it in

and then

no and then

oh no god i hope
okay here we go
goodnight (i hope)
everyone

btw fawc i'm sorry to everything i fucked up
CUZ YOU WERE ALL LYING TO ME YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS
and i know i suck you losers.

or maybe not you never no, i am a bigh jerk and i want every one to know how i feel about shit if they are going to immediately know what i feel fucking bastards fuckers fuck fuck i hate me so much more than i hate yous, so its okay that i am going to make drunken sarcastic remarks about your upbringing, and oh yeah i am sad... bah.....

i'magonnastopostingrambly
drunkeniwishifitinsomewhere
andcouldbehalfasleepnext
tothehottestchickyou'veseen
inalooongwhileletsbehonest
andhaveeverbeenclosetonot
throwinguponwhentheyarenear
althoughmildnausea,wascombated
tosucceedinmakingtotalassofself
asalwayswishingiwassomeoneelse
ordead.

thats it i think

fuckers,

well, all that
gets deleted tomorrow when i freak out so enjoy while the rambly emo crap exist fuckers

and finally alone

with no one else
with whom
to speak

i remember your jaw

and how much you hate it

and how much i love

the lines i see

superimposed above the rest

half measure under full pressure

burning to touch skin

once to have that too

and never give back

--cache

--toi

and always waiting for

alone

alone alone

and now more so than
i guess yous could imagine

breath on my neck, hot

chills all around

your shoulders

the way only you

could give it to yourself
and the soft whir and click
and the echo of a sigh
fading more as you try
to grasp hold
and fall through yourself
trying to recover

a lie

impossible to fathom
even attempting

sadness, a sneeze
and the same old no
reason why.

it's late,

i guess

i should try and

sleep

but for the

memorie's

one more.......


piuahfgiuabsivad;ad;ogidsafoij

ah ya, that;'s worse

hundreds of nights through the mans
skewed sights and still not a single
viewpoint
that would be rewarded
by anything the likes of
pablo picasso's seen

that likes of me
drown in his jealous-

sy

ummmmm fspdijnbwpiojfgnqpij
fgnjwognq;lkdjghoqkn;kjqeoqhe'
ghkn'
lhkbnew
;kljb;kjfgn;kjng'defb
;kjb'lng
'dfjb
ef'kldbn'lkdfn
dnb;dkmfnbqdebljqndb

yah this ain't working, my birthday is over and i want


the girl who stole my initials....


i suck i am such a queer bot junkie psycho

i need to scream alot right now,

i went pee but it didn't make me less pissed off.

i want to cry a bunch right now, but i more feeling like screaming and stabbing myself, i am really sad fuck i am never going to be able tpo figurte this out and every fucking time i encounter a human being i am going to mess it up and miss them, somebody hold my hand at least?????????????????????????????????????????????

FUCK THIS, I AM REALLY GOING TO PISS



MEOFF if i can't quit the whining

and DO SOMETHINTG FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.....


WTF WTF WTF WTF ???????

I RTHINK THAT B4 THIS RETARD ME NIGHT EVERYONE PROPBABLY HAD A MUCH HIGHER OPINION OF ME, WHICH TO BE HONEST, I ACTUALLY COULD CARE LESS, BUT,

why couldn't i have just disappeared like i do, then i could have had a cool either fake or real story to tell tomorrow, now i am just a big loser, that can't do fuck all, fuck i hate all of you, fuck i fuck.....

umm this isn't going away, with the rampant posting fuck all of you, i am really sad, and so frustrated with myself that if i had the guts to end it all, i believe i would.

i'm all sad again....


and a big FUCKING IDIOT

i hate myself, more than you that's why it's okay for me to tell you today that you're wqrong and the world about to end in a song, i want to be NORMAL but everyone is just going to tell me it doesn't exist or whatever, but i wish i knew what i was doing and woiuld stop it... fuck what was the point? recording twelve more sadisfied faces, like two logs buring falling over, only memories, and antasy to fill the void before collapsing unfulfilled alone again buried in the coals of other peoples greatest accomplshmjents,

i am drunk and she's so pretty, and i'm a giant fucking loser bot, LoserBOT.

i am the biggest loser ever.... a big fucking loser... loser loser, loser , loserr
,.jh tjxfrcbgdszeafdsfdskls,.m

and now she thinks i am retarded.

fuck this shit.... i fucking suck, thats it fuck everything, i am going to go shoot myself with a mouthful of water, cuz i ain't no crooked ass aiming motherfucker/.

if you only read one poem this year, the first in my new "new Poetry" section: Death by Decadence is a good idea.

It's My Birthday


you fucking cocksuckers, i'm 23 motherfucking years old


my brother has a phd in physics, an associate professorship, a fiance and a car, me i got a broken skateboard, a survey job, a broken acoustic 12 string guitar, a broken computer, a broken septum, broken teeth, broken joints, broken heart, broken dreams etc.... i am well on the way to enlightenment! Where's your LeBaron Freddy???

apox on whomever said don't give your coworkers your blog address, i just did, fuck off, and i'm not even that drunk and i'm still gonna whine about the girl that makes me drop shit fuck you mark, you are a giant queerbot, go do some colts manowar. loser. now siv, interesting chap, can set you on fire with a single curse your brain will explode when he mingles verse with prophetic worth your poetic soul. mark, fucking loser, can't spit looks like he's been hit by a car when only in the headlights.

drunkdrunk again wishing i was someone else, wish i had a girl with a kid i would call her.

i think i need to care about someone first
otherwise i don't have anything to say
i'm working on that
you should be too.

drunk mark has one thing and one thing to say only...
fuck off, it's gonna do it when i feel like it

fuck off, i'm serious

it's the only way i work.....

blahfleevapivaneen... tjhat's right i said it... first, fuckers

i gotta get used to being a sideshow
empty side car my ass i'm toting
all of your shit

some poems in sidebar with the judge been declared art.

how come i wind up all crazy and cat-like wtf?? i want friends, they're just dummies,
all of them even the smart ones, whatever fuck, i need some drones and a space

and people suck all blogging this and that and their monkey's aunt

cumming attracts ions:

New Poetry permenant links, for easy access to my soul less

Pants!

Tracks in sidebar

Anyone need a musical boost over the commiecapped wall? here's some ciphers to get you through it, now in sidebar!

imean it, i really don't know if i care about yous anymore, ijust don't wanna watch it, i am just not like that, i am sorry

that is close enough to smell, and that would even wanna touch me, i am a fucking jerkbot creepazoid asshole, i hate all of you for making me sads.

where do i get off being so smart... wtf is this shit.. why can't any one else be.......

what i am trying to sasy is someone tell me something instead of forcing me to imagine unscrewing their head slowly with much gore and licking the quivering ligaments.....

dskjbf/iugg wityh the hugging stuff, what 6the fuck, someone make me care about them, it hurts burning aginst stainless steel trying to leasve a mark alone falling through the floor to see more of the same on the flip side.

ther'sd no mystery,
i have no life so i must be history.

i am allllllllll alone in here......... help me......... i am drowning trying to keep well wrought iron afloat.

where i cared to, been almost a year, yeah thats right fucking jerkbot has had perhaps three partners (the last being 4 months ago 4!!4!!) in a year and has not enjoyed it once, go fuck yourself everythign, what is so wrong with me anyways?? ah fuck it where are all the hom mirabilis when you need em???

i need to havea the sex, with a human being..... fuck

and you all can stock gear for the apocolypse, a reprimand won't cross this lips until you're gone

please let me loose haven't you seen the wreck this noose has made of my neck lack spect for m intellect i want to disappear.

and more sad, everyone is mean and going to keep killing eachother forever and i don't want to see it, i tried to be all cool and just watch the show, but the actors and audience seem so similar i keep losing i am scared, buillshit i aint i am scared that i will ahev to watch it all, and it doesn't get any better, i've understood forever, just stop and maybe i could sleep properly, help me.........

sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sa d sa dhd

i'm not going to say i am scared, but iam damn sad right now, damn fucking sad....... i want to want to brush the hair from someone's eyes, i am dead on and off it appears.... i wan to hold something warmer than me, cuz ice cold is no comfort

i spent some time with people from work today, not WHOM i would've wanted, i don't care one day i'll have a master, and i will be happy.

i spent some time with people from work today, not WHOM i would've wanted , i don't care one day i'll have a master, and i will be happy.

although

it is slightly quicker

whatever, isn't it
already clear that i hate everyone?

oh i see, that is totally jay what the fuck why add a link to your own site on your own site, or make the title of a post the title of your

blogthis

(middle finger raised hand,
crooked elbow italian slappy
thing on bicep at same time)

asshole

this was too long

IWriteBetterThanEveryone
SoBetterLeaveMetheFuckAlone


what?

i can't believe i really don't care

i am rrrreeeeeaaaaallyy grossed out by me right now

and i just masturbated to porn cuz i can't even imagine (what) a "sexy"
situation (is) right now.

i feel all dried up and wormy at the same time

i don't know how to egt anythign going again cuz i don't know if i can do this, right now i am so pissed at everyone, i haven't gotten laid in months and i can't have a girlfriend s cuz i don't feel like doing nothing for no one, however i dob feel like having someone to hide under when the shooting starts... what the fuck am i going to do?

yah you you paranoid fuck.... that and balhbl;ahbleebleeblaah ;lkjfvgnb'lkdfng[bk thqefkjg[pemy '3qkrjegy[i6k],p1,vyu yah and i don't care right now, so i am all grossed out by me, what the fuck jerk.

yeah i was talking to you you paranoid fuck, what? what? huh???

i don't have anything to say right now except for maybe fuck FUCKITY FUCKY FUCKFUCK oh that and i need to get laid or something, or like someone, they all piss me off, especially you, yah you, you know who i am talking to... you over there with the ugly face and the constant staring.

"anonimity" may be compromised!!! drunken looking for shit to do and general shit disturbing has led to a disturbing foul up! inevitable as it may have been it is still retarded. and on brother of exs site! omg what ever shall i doo what a horrible turn of events,

wait it's internet trouble... who the fuck cares????

wait even if it was real trouble, it's too funny....


hahahaha.........fuck

moronic me

fucking
morons

cuz when the shit hits the fan i vomit outta sight i spit vomit back a stack of ryhmes i hack out stole or find and leaving you behind in a brown and tangy mist baby birds eat what they can find

while mama leaves them the rind
and cashes the check you signed
i must be outta my mind
to be caring for your kind

stephanies

wtf why would anyone elses name be that common epiphany?? now i don't know wether it is weirder to be attracted to her or whatever fuck shut the fuck up stupid other peoples imaginary voices in situations that will never occur i need to get laid soon because its is motherfucking april you cocksuckers better pucker up for this chris tucker ducker of hits.

whats really stupid is that oking is supposed to be joking, but then i am all like maybe i am saying something, but no NO i am really OFF right now and i REALLY hate everything.

i'm not even oking, i am sad and pissed and i ca't spit because i am scared of me, and the crazy bitch upstairs... uck i need to, and now i am sad a bunch, i wanna hug someone, cuz, why wn't it work ALL the time, its actually seizing up way more, i keep freezing up on the floor and whats more i took the whole magic mystery tour and i don't have a face to face i am the faceless snooob.

imagonnawritesomefaggittyshitnowabout
howstupidiamandhowiwishthatahadsomesort
offamillyorsupportstructurerorsportsupport
infratuckedyourcockitaintsillythishillbilly
isreallycrossswantthebosstobebleedingiam
kneadingthisalthoughicannotbeusingineedmoreabusing
pleaseletmeoutican'traprightnowiamabroentoyon
yourfloortoopathetictoannoytoprophetic
joybalancinglevelstweenwhatyousaidthedevil'sinwhoyoubed.


i am saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddd right now, and i miss hugging stuff, i fucking suck i can't rap at all right now... what the fuckis up with stupid freestyle art future or video game sell

out with it, i wish i didn't have to hover polarized by the feud.

hot hot hot new track written this morning before work drunk high and no sleep = humour

smae problem with the linkie poos

http://home.ripway.com/2005-3/279410/Voice013.mp3

EVERYONE IN HERE AGRRES WITH THE LAST BIT, IT'S JUST THAT I AM CRAZY, AND WHY? I DON'T KNOW, AND I DON'T EVEN WANT HELP ANYMORE, OR ANYTHING I WANT TO EXPLODE, LITERALLY EXPLODE, I THINK EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS STUPID, CAN'T BE PISSED AT ME FOREVERR, I THINKL AT LEAST HALF THE THINGS I SAY ARE STUPID, I JUST WISH SOMEONE ELSE THOUGHT THAT AND WOULD SAY SO, THAT WOULD BE THE LEASTEST STPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD.

I DON'T WANNA GO TO WORK AT ALL I AM SCARED OF FACING THE DAY AND EVERYONE THERE BECAUSE THEY ARE JERKBOTS WHO WON'T LET YOU DAYDREAM BECAUSE YOU IS AN ASSHOLE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO MOST PEOPLE BECAUSE USUALLY HE WINDS UP OFFENDING EVERYONE BECAUSE THEY ARE SLOOOOOOOWWWWWWW SOOOOOO SLOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW I DIDN'T SAY STUPID, IT'S JUST BORING, WHO CARES ABOUT SHIT FOR SHIT SAKE GET A GRIP, THIS SHIT IS RETARDED AND WE ALL KNOW IT I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE ENERGY TO FIND OLD POEMS AND POST EM BECAUSE I AM SO ASHAMED RIGHT NOW BUT FUCK YOU ALL YOU DON'T CARE ANYWAYS, YOU REALLY DON'T ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS HEARING SOME LINE THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOU, WHAT ARE YOU ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT? WTF IS ANYONE EVER TALKING ABOUT??? I HATE THIS, I SHOULDN'T HAVE VEN STAYED OUT LATE THAT ONE NIGHT I CAN'T VEN GET NORMAL AGAIN, FUCK I HATE WORK, FUCK I WISH I FELT NORMAL ENOUGH TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

AND YOU ALL KNOW THAT STUFF WOULDN'T HAVE SUCKED, I WISH I HAD THE ENERGY TO MAKE THE TRACKS TO MAKE THE ENERGY TO CARE TO MAKE THE ENERGY TO MAKE THE TRACKS TO MAKE YOU MAKE THE ENERGY BUT I AM A BOTTOMLESS PIT OF DESPAIR SOMETIMES

GO FUCK YOURSELF, MYSELF INCLUDED SINCE I DO READ THIS MORE THAN ANYONE, AND I HATE ALL OF YOU FUCK AS MUCH AS I HATE ME RIGHT NOW FUCKEDY FUCK ITS 735, NO DRUGS, CAN'T SLEEP, WHY? SCARED OF NOT WAKING UP, STUPID YES? STILL AWAKE, YES. HATE ALL OF YOU BUT MYSELF THE MOST, YES, FUCK WHY WON'T SOMEBODY JUST KILL THEM ALL FOR FUCKS SAKE, YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN JUST KILL THEM ALREADY, I HATE THIS, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT, I AM TRYING THIS ONE THING, BUT NOBODY WANTS TO WORK WITH VILLAGE IDIOT OPEN SORE JUNKIE PSYCHO LEAST OF ALL VILLAGE IDIOT JUNKIE PSYCHO WICHES HE COULD BE ANYONE ELSE, BECAUSE FUCK EVERYTHING

so much sadder that this is it, i mean that's it i mean i have nothing to say really, no wait, yah, i suck, i hate everything, and i wish it didn't all make me nervous and stuff i guess it kinda interferes with the whoole "creative process" bit, i guess things might be easier if i had a familly or friends or artists to watch or if any of that would make me care about it again i could help, i know but i just don't care, i wish i hadn't gotten this far cuz so far its just been getting worse, i can't go anywhere and be happy, i guess its just spring time and i am THE WORST at this.

sad right now, can't sleep, clown'll eat me

http://home.ripway.com/2005-3/279410/Mixdown(5orig).mp3

guess not, guess you'll have to copy and paste

i don't evn think the linkds thing is working, or maybe its my computer whatever here we go again, original tempo

the original tempo, take your pick, i can't decide, my roomate is re4ally big on the slowed down version

this last one is amazing but too big to include unzip, please note that all previous version of these three tracks have been deleted.

http://home.ripway.com/2005-3/279410/Mixdown(2).mp3