so much sadder that this is it, i mean that's it i mean i have nothing to say really, no wait, yah, i suck, i hate everything, and i wish it didn't all make me nervous and stuff i guess it kinda interferes with the whoole "creative process" bit, i guess things might be easier if i had a familly or friends or artists to watch or if any of that would make me care about it again i could help, i know but i just don't care, i wish i hadn't gotten this far cuz so far its just been getting worse, i can't go anywhere and be happy, i guess its just spring time and i am THE WORST at this.