Thursday, March 01, 2012

I've lost the plot, completely. why? why? fucking why? I'm sick to death of myself and of trying to avoid the everdark inside me. I am incomprehensibly sad... still. Every moment that has passed i miss, even the worst... what did i do? what have we done?

Saturday, April 30, 2011

blah blah blah, will try again tomorrow
anger disbelief sorrow anger acceptance sorrow, moving forward; anger disbelief sorrow....
nope unchanged, so angry so scared so disconnected... nope nadda not happening
fuck you

fuck you

fuck you,

no shit
not gonna happen while you're listening..
ha, great, you're so cool you get this
poem coming soon
wat's a past gonna do for you?
fuck off stupid
stop translation here...
blah blah blee blah aint right
nowhere


stay away from it, you're not the one to grasp

blah blah blee b lah

wah wah wee waaa

fuck you
refuse to monopolize the words,
the language is not yours
or even ours....
refuse to let them destroy what is in order to
hold on to what was,
fuck it
fuck you
fuck your parents
fuck every idea youve thought you had
leave me alone
its the only way through this.

this is not a poem,
but you don't know this,
this is not a poem,
but this is not your fault.

you don't care for poetry do you?
it's not really a question but it
needs, begs pleads to be asked.
fuck you and all that surrounds you
pardoning this insane ineptitude to live.

who do you think you are?
what?
when has it mattered?
forget it and be better off as the thought never questioned is


pained as you are there are others more pained
and they know
this is not a poem...

fuck you,
deal with it
stained as the window might be, fuck you, you've got nothing i've got nothing and still we proceed; with what in mind? i don't know, i couldn't rightly try to tell you. the only one i thought knew offed himself in the modern tradition of giving a damn... fuck you to start it the only way i know how to, fuck you, who are you as an A U D I E N CE toi decide what youre going to listen to or not, long windedly; guess what you don't deserve peotry, write it for me....

Monday, December 28, 2009

i am the worst reason
fer no reason
i've quit
quitin.

nothin's left,
i've nothin
written

r(.)e(.)-

recorded

pastel
and faggoty, the way my life has been
unled and bleeds

unevaluated
undervalued and
incapable




played
i've nothin
most nothin,
stage settings
and impeposterous

despair.

try harder
or don't

and die
cuz this aint working anymore

never was

stained blue
the way a baby is tatooed
forget me as i've
forgotten you.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

fuck you. fuck ou l;APTOPS EAT A DICK FUCK YOU YOU'R an idiot, i'm an idiot , noone can be an idiot like me bitatch.

Friday, November 30, 2007

save the warm smiles for someone who cares taste my knee deep quick despair. eat my words for they are good.
never smoke crack on cough syrup,

you'll never wanna think again. everything else will be frigid compared to the warm completely incomprehensible glow of that moment.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

worn out, and a bucket full of scoliosis. tired for the end.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

on a transposition of art.
[[p[-[ [ =-p ] \ c cocxx;l[pozs=--sdoooooooods-0kd=-sd=====judinjmc
not fucking good. ferreals you fucking bastasrds climb into my aeroplane while i is in the bathroom and steal my profit? who cares i is fucking done i is fucking pissed and i don't care that aeroplane isn't spelled aeroplane i don't fucking care why did you change your unconditional environment to perpetuate your hate crimes through your language police let me go leave me allone, let me sink to the bottom of my own discrepancies. goodnight.
i hate this mess of life. no order any price where the fiuck did i put it? i dunno but if i did i would be happy. i am going to scream. do you see me? i'm not having a good day, and it's perpetuating itself over the course of my life. that i spoke and then had to type. no good i wish for my own schizophrenic panic i wish for softwear to recognize my thoughts and transpose them, to transcribe my spoken words and edit my poetry. take this responsibility away from me i don't need this anymore but i'm screwed to it tight. fuck you fucking stupid fuckin spell checking son of a dyke bitch whore retard. i lost money........ again. seems to be a habit of mine wish i had remebered b4 i started living again
jhyujhwe nmbjh bnjhumbz you put thos little red lines under things do it, cuz im typing with my fore jerk face. i lost a twenty bag. i dunno where. i can't do nething. 1984 is not some orwellian retro future. it is the year my sister was born, the year state catholicism died, the year i turned two and the year capote died.
thank God. fuck this paragraph. fuck you. i suck balls badly.