everytime i hurt something stupid i did to myself, remember some shit that i haven't thought of in forever because why would you think of stupid shit like that i keep wanting to hurt someone else for it, like i was in a continuous battle with humanity. fuckit and fuck serenity now, i'm this pissed off and sad and directionless because i am, time to focus that shit on a point i want to break. it's weird cuz i want to deprive my friends of their family and security and social sphere from high scholl because that shit makes them retarded, i'm obviously not going to try and do that so when the feeling overwhelms me i just leave.