today i woke up feeling like i should change my name to the sadness

i was crazy before now i'm a walking wreck dredged up from some awful toxic bay creaking and tripping in potholes, i am too nervous to live, too lazy to die.

i have to say i'm pretty lonely

and mostly i've been really lonely except for when ive been deluding myself, i'm shivering because i'm cold, but also the whole house is shaking because of the washing machine running.