why is there so much clapping and so little talking in the state of the union address? it is freakin me out.

this is the second time i do this but i think it's okay so i'm keeping a reference.


the dog will never let you down
i read that somewhere

true: a dog lets u down when it dies.

me yo: or sets you free

love when you find it is going to hurt so much

it will suck the air out of you like a cold cascade of water on the head from garden hose, drowning you in a half inch of water,

we are trans existential and we will find each other and feel such love that the chaos will quiet and let us draw pictures on the window, kissing foggy hearts with each breath.



every second away from this pain is death, bending the pain to my will so much more fulfilling than stretching love taut across a guitar.



my children will survive this, and there is no one that will stop me.


i'm not gonna do what everyone THINKS i'm gonna do and freak out. all i wanna know is who's coming with me? who's comin with me?


yah, i'm done with the crazy post apocalyptic postin, sorry my head was fuzzy with the warmth that is alcohol.+-

and gently i'll wear down, though no one knows how
alone knee deep in children

i was never really good at holding grudges, i pick all of you, if you are going to pick sides i pick love.

and i used to love you all so much

here comes the story of the hurricane
who had the authorities all to blame
couldn't do what he'd never done
the eye's a prison cell but one
time it could've been my champion
for the world.

all i want is to feel like somewhere, sometimes it's going somewhere, and i want to find her and have 6 cannibal kids

Better to rule in hell than serve in heaven

if hell is seperation from god's love, i'm there, i recognize no master as my own.
anyone who does is condemning their children to this.

like the sadness that grows on me like stockholm syndrome that leaves its symptoms in littered bottles and ashes and the cheap smell of decay

like an unfinished yawn choking on sulfur

like i care.

like hot knives through a 3.5 of hash

like another lonely sunday.

shades of i don't know why

tradgedies because i just can't lie

painful as it may seem

it's your life, more than mine

but mine more than most

and more all the same,

fuck off, because you don't love the way i do fuck of because you don't love me say i do, fuck off because i love you, and i'm bound to what is through, fuck off because it's quiet, fuck off because it's true.

shades of concentration once blades for consummation

over and over again...


quiet.,

on the hounds

have cried but

once so suddenly.

i am here for you,
and only
i am here for you

but

lonely

this is all mine though, except if you come to comfort me, hands all dusty dark in the cracked stale moonlight

let me go and feel the breath of spring rotten so far between

so what?

so what you want to be me

so what?

so what you wan to do this
(go ahead)
so what?
(just try)
so what you want to do me

so what?


just lie.

you blog this,... fuck off

IT'S not a girl problem, but if i jihad one it might solve it..

there's not much you can do

game over
retry; quit?

i'm sorry there is truth, that is all, goodnight

i know more than any of you,... of(f) course i feel most

theres no reason for this and it looks even harder than it is, but i'm still right and of course i still love you(hety this you is not directed at anybody but the last person to touch me, probably a trashy coke slut, but i don't care to remember, i am lonely and i think i need some school to help, 2007 is the year of the feigning education and the wanning dust left for the whining lust........... fuck off. i don't wantg any of you but i ned your heart ache, so fuck off


fuck off fuck off



...fuck off

sometimes you wake up after having called in sick to your new job on your third day you realize that you can't do this for long. it's pretty deprssing how bad i am at life.

wtf?

i've found them, all the things i need to give you, but the quiet makes my heart crawl.

i touched them again, those brief flikering moments drifting out like tendrils to ensnare me, they're all there, and my fear spins out of control landing m on the other side of this axis. i find it easier to breathe when i tell myself i've never had anything good at all.

i quit my job. that is all for now.