i don't write anything at all

2011-04-30T04:29:00.000-07:00

blah blah blah, will try again tomorrow

2011-04-30T04:27:00.000-07:00

anger disbelief sorrow anger acceptance sorrow, moving forward; anger disbelief sorrow....
nope unchanged, so angry so scared so disconnected... nope nadda not happening

2011-04-30T04:25:00.001-07:00

fuck you

fuck you

fuck you,

no shit

2011-04-30T04:24:00.002-07:00

not gonna happen while you're listening..
ha, great, you're so cool you get this

2011-04-30T04:24:00.001-07:00

poem coming soon

2011-04-30T04:23:00.000-07:00

wat's a past gonna do for you?
fuck off stupid

2011-04-30T04:21:00.000-07:00

stop translation here...
blah blah blee blah aint right
nowhere

stay away from it, you're not the one to grasp

blah blah blee b lah

wah wah wee waaa

fuck you

2011-04-30T04:13:00.000-07:00

refuse to monopolize the words,
the language is not yours
or even ours....
refuse to let them destroy what is in order to
hold on to what was,
fuck it
fuck you
fuck your parents
fuck every idea youve thought you had
leave me alone
its the only way through this.

this is not a poem,
but you don't know this,
this is not a poem,
but this is not your fault.

you don't care for poetry do you?
it's not really a question but it
needs, begs pleads to be asked.
fuck you and all that surrounds you
pardoning this insane ineptitude to live.

who do you think you are?
what?
when has it mattered?
forget it and be better off as the thought never questioned is

pained as you are there are others more pained
and they know
this is not a poem...

fuck you,
deal with it

2011-04-30T04:06:00.000-07:00

stained as the window might be, fuck you, you've got nothing i've got nothing and still we proceed; with what in mind? i don't know, i couldn't rightly try to tell you. the only one i thought knew offed himself in the modern tradition of giving a damn... fuck you to start it the only way i know how to, fuck you, who are you as an A U D I E N CE toi decide what youre going to listen to or not, long windedly; guess what you don't deserve peotry, write it for me....

2009-12-28T03:23:00.000-08:00

i am the worst reason
fer no reason
i've quit
quitin.

nothin's left,
i've nothin
written

r(.)e(.)-

recorded

pastel
and faggoty, the way my life has been
unled and bleeds

unevaluated
undervalued and
incapable

played

2009-12-28T03:20:00.000-08:00

i've nothin
most nothin,
stage settings
and impeposterous

despair.

try harder
or don't

and die
cuz this aint working anymore

never was

stained blue
the way a baby is tatooed
forget me as i've
forgotten you.

2008-05-17T23:59:00.000-07:00

fuck you. fuck ou l;APTOPS EAT A DICK FUCK YOU YOU'R an idiot, i'm an idiot , noone can be an idiot like me bitatch.

2007-11-30T12:26:00.000-08:00

save the warm smiles for someone who cares taste my knee deep quick despair. eat my words for they are good.

2007-11-30T12:25:00.001-08:00

never smoke crack on cough syrup,

you'll never wanna think again. everything else will be frigid compared to the warm completely incomprehensible glow of that moment.

2007-11-29T02:21:00.000-08:00

worn out, and a bucket full of scoliosis. tired for the end.

2007-11-18T04:30:00.001-08:00

on a transposition of art.

2007-11-18T04:28:00.000-08:00

[[p[-[ [ =-p ] \ c cocxx;l[pozs=--sdoooooooods-0kd=-sd=====judinjmc

2007-11-18T04:19:00.000-08:00

not fucking good. ferreals you fucking bastasrds climb into my aeroplane while i is in the bathroom and steal my profit? who cares i is fucking done i is fucking pissed and i don't care that aeroplane isn't spelled aeroplane i don't fucking care why did you change your unconditional environment to perpetuate your hate crimes through your language police let me go leave me allone, let me sink to the bottom of my own discrepancies. goodnight.

2007-11-18T03:59:00.000-08:00

i hate this mess of life. no order any price where the fiuck did i put it? i dunno but if i did i would be happy. i am going to scream. do you see me? i'm not having a good day, and it's perpetuating itself over the course of my life. that i spoke and then had to type. no good i wish for my own schizophrenic panic i wish for softwear to recognize my thoughts and transpose them, to transcribe my spoken words and edit my poetry. take this responsibility away from me i don't need this anymore but i'm screwed to it tight. fuck you fucking stupid fuckin spell checking son of a dyke bitch whore retard. i lost money........ again. seems to be a habit of mine wish i had remebered b4 i started living again

2007-11-18T03:53:00.000-08:00

jhyujhwe nmbjh bnjhumbz you put thos little red lines under things do it, cuz im typing with my fore jerk face. i lost a twenty bag. i dunno where. i can't do nething. 1984 is not some orwellian retro future. it is the year my sister was born, the year state catholicism died, the year i turned two and the year capote died.
thank God. fuck this paragraph. fuck you. i suck balls badly.

2007-11-08T14:18:00.000-08:00

now all i gotta watch is what monkey do
sittin around in his own monkey poo
missed me missed that missed a large chunk slowly trickling down his thigh.

2007-11-08T14:14:00.000-08:00

and don't even try to come back to me i don't even know what the monkey see but see i see what he thought he'd see, made all himself and then threw at me.

reflections on a five minute freestyle (my own).

2007-11-07T19:48:00.000-08:00

everybody has to watch ghosts of cite soliel.

2007-10-28T17:31:00.000-07:00

spinally tapped lubricant all out all in. fucking momo. you was right lisa. anyways. death to mark.

2007-10-28T17:26:00.000-07:00

hurts like it's supposed to. everyone disgusts me in that light pain is my hexagonally scabbed forehead. it hurts like hell. i need to wear a hat starting now. weather unconcerned. can't change these clothes my forhead has been stricken with... what in the fuck are you talking about? you can't handle your drugs man and you are seriously boring.

2007-10-28T17:25:00.001-07:00

sometimes i think i write simply because i don't have a camera to take a picture of what i did to my forterhaed because my friend sveno decided to be a fucking psycho. anyways never seen a scab like this b4 i am fucked but he, he is a fucking psycho. i don't like him.
nothing has scabs like my forehead. and i am vomit inside my shoes walking home after a few days of squishing it. i hate life.

2007-10-12T00:42:00.002-07:00

i hate this forever. i suck and it don't work. talk to me talk to you talk to someone that thinks they're talking truth.

2007-10-07T02:31:00.000-07:00

fuck this fucking spell check in the box, in the box im the only one who talks. if i look up it's to look right it's to look to you to keep you up all night. fuck you talk to me. TALK TO ME. talk to me, please.

2007-10-07T02:26:00.000-07:00

fuck you fuck all of this fuck the tea stained yellow of faded bliss fuck the recorrections fuckthis

and what to say yah you wdere were right all along yuo never wanted to touch me and yes now that i'm dying you're right there. and yes no one cares, no one ever did, they stop oh they stop but all they can do is stare, and sit there, and wish there was some other way that they could pay we've all done paid and still the air stifles us and still we continue to care. fuck you the most because i love you and it ain't helping none of this will. what do i look like? do i look like what i have come to compare.

2007-10-03T01:51:00.000-07:00

different mess, different time.
same damn thing, always mine

the shallow breathing and the sickness,
the sallow flesh as it's leaving
the monstrous mockery and it's mistress:
life, and you the victim.

2007-10-03T01:02:00.001-07:00

nothing at all and a keyboard that shimmers as if it's looking at you.

2007-10-03T00:58:00.000-07:00

the same bleep and haw of the fading fanfare on to
some other ridiculous county submerged in clots
of congealing air.

stuff to stick to you and smear

tired jaunts back and forth through escapes,
others end.

notions of some self caste formed by others hands.

lines of rhyming poetry without mates.

the pureness of the entirely ritualistic performance given to the separation of the artist in the quiet method required to continue, in the cutting and pasting of the original material from one little white box to another.

2007-10-03T00:50:00.000-07:00

frozen and

nothing more.
a common cold cocked whore
in the moment b4 your brains hit the back
of your skull. all steal and gleaming virtue
out the back of your head.
over and over a picture of penetration avoiding
suffocation
by riding the spray out of your own futile existence.

one and the same and the same one without, never.

2007-09-29T02:36:00.002-07:00

fuck politics fuck you fuck starving everyone fuck privilige fuck you fuck it. what do you want from me how to live today, how to know enough to get by. how to care how to open anything at all without wrecking the whole system the uselessness of trying. the slowly incapable. the choice you've made and the ones inescapable. so fuck you and your notions of by rote fuck you and fuck me too, fuck this attempt and fuck the next. fuck caring, fuck knowing that yoiu are critically corcerning yourself with someones elses academic problem fuck it fuck who you are enough times and he'll be with you for ever, same as it is with anyone. fuck me especially always cuz i hate this. i hate trying to live and trying to sleep and trying to die and trying to try. is there a point to to trying anything? probably not, but that's not terribly important now is anything.

2007-09-29T02:36:00.001-07:00

boring bored bore... fuck you.

2007-09-29T02:33:00.001-07:00

what is your total ignorance concerning utter apathy pervading upper levels of lower conciousness. what is my total incapability with concernicing, why am i so disinterested i am of no use how is unistrested connected? ask yourself if these distinctions convey more than ineveitably distinctions upon levels of distrac6tion maintained by each class.

2007-09-29T02:28:00.000-07:00

fuck wive fuck lives fuck this fuck yo fuck up fuck down fuck all around stuck u[p and still it soundds over and over infernally more shallow with each reverberation the conatation drifting from the moment. all told this is retard crazy nutbar screaming at bhimself anger with bleh bleh bleh fuck you.

2007-09-29T02:27:00.000-07:00

fuck you and ypour insistence on levels maintained by levels of on the go subscribing to zines all by those in the know. fuck you fuck you twice fuck this fuck trying to be nice fuck off fuck me .

2007-09-29T02:25:00.000-07:00

fuck you don't answer anywhere cuz i don't exist somewhere i can peg down and naw none of me exists on the consequences of a dense moronic particle where i used to be.
fuck you and your iunsistence on form fuck you and you advertising dollars spent on message abreviated out of meaning.

2007-09-29T02:21:00.000-07:00

eat my edit sdit my truth helpless and indefinite i continue on i hate you indefinite control i hate your lopsided freedomn i hate having to be more than i am just to be. you can't indefinetly. try, try and see, hold it for a moment so the rest of us can be sure that you meant it. pretend at least that you care in the slightest of the slights the betrayal insights are worth more to you than life.

2007-09-29T02:17:00.000-07:00

you're asll better thn me, i don't carei'm never gonna stop speaking, you hate me, the more you ignore me the stonger you feel, fuck you fuck your non commital appeal fuck your instead of lifestyle fuck me especially because i can't weven do it anymore because i don't love you, i suck fuck you fuck opfff.

2007-09-20T00:33:00.001-07:00

things dissipate, lifes wreck upon incalculable obstacles too infinesimle to claculate fuck it. i am not trying anymore, i is tired and unsequenced unfortunately unhappy and bleh, most of all bleh. i am sorry woprld i have noting to offer you, suck on this massive parasite for a while.

2007-09-20T00:29:00.000-07:00

drifting sight to the intangible hatred for self.you cock left you cock right
ending inevitably somethings flight something some right, life continued on take some solace in the fact that life will continue expanding it's influence across time even now organized information penetrate the outer reaches of our solar sytem even now words from this post float off into space as a jumble of meanigless pain prescribed to some other chance as the cure for growth.

2007-09-20T00:26:00.000-07:00

hdsb

i wrecked my life every chance i got, why? i don't fuckingn knmow? and i don't know how to stop either. i have driven my self to distraction, literally.

2007-09-20T00:25:00.000-07:00

can't focus the mind to make head can't stand the time it takes to describe instead can't believe that you even tried go to bed moron go to bed.

2007-09-20T00:23:00.000-07:00

the impossibility of sustaining this recollapse the hatred for the steps which led you here the retracing to the line back anf forth back against time. bleh and the infernal empty head, the careless regret of a junkie insted

2007-09-20T00:22:00.002-07:00

i is uncertain as what can be done i feel able but not able to do anything, i is not correct.

2007-09-20T00:22:00.001-07:00

i wish

2007-09-20T00:21:00.000-07:00

in othrer words i suck shit right now but i don't care.

2007-09-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

do not place quadrants around you life you will inevitably evade the constraint and wind up hugely disappointed with yourself.

2007-09-20T00:14:00.000-07:00

this is where i fuck off(or die?) fuck you. i am not happy and i'm staying right here, step over me or around me, you do whatever you have to, i am. but is anything you do what you want, and which direction does time run in anyways death.

2007-09-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

your skepticism is malplaced and unimportent you are the trials of a silent mind you are the stick tuitiveness of like mind you are nothing and the world has left you behind.

2007-09-19T23:38:00.000-07:00

how through a pinhole to see some truth we beg and drool over someone elses life

how to compose a symphony one note at a time how to learn to live and speask in rhyme how to forgive and how to die?

2007-09-19T02:27:00.000-07:00

i am nothing in the nothing. writing upon itself. i am empty and need to be filled back up, give me your discarded dreams your malcontents your miscreants.

2007-09-19T02:26:00.001-07:00

tired renovations like second hand window frames installed into a fifth hand home.

2007-09-19T02:24:00.000-07:00

boredom in the format, contained boxes to be filled according to user specifications.

2007-09-19T02:22:00.000-07:00

i need you as much as you need me, let the sweet wash of saturation salt our wounds and heal.

2007-09-19T02:20:00.001-07:00

file grievances cyclically. don't forget to edit but make it look like you didn't pull the wool over my eyes i need you to.

2007-09-19T02:17:00.000-07:00

say hello to the new millenialist say hello to tommorrw b4 tye day is done say hello to shorcuts say hello to victories b4 the battle is won forget everything you ever construed remmber only in congruence to the image b4 you, truly understand be and evaporated puysh the limits of your psyce gain the stability of distance not from the pain but from the stimulus.

2007-09-19T01:56:00.000-07:00

screaming and rethinking and reliving and dying and never living again and the utter truth of the end of pain and the struggle against pretense and object of viewer and observed. and the truth belies the choice that ends you. like em and ;eave em love em and die going listless and tired my life ends slower than yours.

2007-09-19T01:54:00.000-07:00

bland reconstructions of what it was like to feel objectived visions of a life they see progressing beneath them and the dissipation the utter dissipation and the hatred for the struggle and the gleam of a silent eye.

2007-09-19T01:47:00.000-07:00

silence in the end of your name. patience is a virtue for the insane. empty expanses of limitless drole less than affected. stains on the pavement, less than human meta communicated diseases of the mind propelled forward in time restricted from ever living again. all this in the name the name of progress taken and projected the blame.

2007-09-19T01:35:00.000-07:00

i'm eating some stouffers pastaria mac n cheese shit and it should taste like heaven cuz i got the magic sauce baby sriracha hot n spicy mutha fucka but the fucking bottle jizzed all over my bed and it's all like yo, i've just decided to make it look like you LIKE it ruff feel free to hit me. or such. fucking ruin my mac n cheese fucking magic sauce that create the paradise in the first place only to taint it with dreams of sexual malfeasance.

2007-09-19T01:31:00.000-07:00

this isn't anythin, anythin you'll remember. this here's two seconds b4 the skip the utter blandness of you general well proportion normalized discontent. sigh and retread softly this time and erase your tact.

2007-09-18T01:16:00.003-07:00

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

2007-09-18T01:15:00.004-07:00

klgvqosuidbvisnvijsnvnwidfhqoiuer'poQEJTOJWBFVIBWTNQIFGFAHFOKJiohfgpqnefigjnqdifjgnipusHFGFNniuhrijnsckvjbJNIJNVKKJBNSN;lkjbcfsjn

2007-09-18T01:15:00.003-07:00

lkfm,n hjmxzchjjhxcvxcvzmkzxc

2007-09-18T01:15:00.001-07:00

bitch

2007-09-18T01:14:00.001-07:00

i hate myself, deal with it.

2007-09-14T16:51:00.000-07:00

crap crap crap crap.

2007-09-13T04:03:00.001-07:00

or nsaaaaaaaaaaaadd

2007-09-13T04:00:00.000-07:00

not good, face eating up energy 90% distraction rate catastrophe to ensue.

2007-09-13T03:57:00.000-07:00

useless water goodfer nuthin self fulfilling death march/machine incapable of the most simple poetic thought towards which in expires.

2007-09-13T03:53:00.000-07:00

i'm not an easy person to live with i'm not an easy person to love, sometimes i've an easy one to fall in love with everyone sometime has been it all. verse boredom, drunken stop, sad uninspired hurt les hopeful everyday pathetic emty wrung out junkie fart brain.

2007-09-13T03:37:00.000-07:00

i miss the certitude i miss being i miss the attitude of the seeing i miss the shooting straight from the hip i miss certainly you have been missed. you wanted to disappear so completely as to leave a hole. no fuzzed out edges no crash course in independence, sheer silence. no echo no rebounding to gauge the depth no responding the years have crept up on you as the tide has swept trace on from dew to the faces kept from you and the tears unwept. i am missing another piece of myself, cut me off cut your telephone cut and run cause the day is done, cut the crap cuz i know you'd won cut me till you can't bleed or run. safty in the lapse of a rhyme, there's no saftey left from here to the end this time. i'll never fill this shit you left was mine but you'd promised to carry through this time. everything about me spits hot and acrid and dry. my spit is white with undissolved issues unresolved risks you don't know how to take. hate and the solid march step, time.

2007-09-13T03:34:00.000-07:00

i feel constantly at odds with this situation, none of these places feel like home, i want to sink back into the great wash of printed word sweeping across our bitter landscape, kindling for the traveler, saviour of our hands warmer of the sole.

2007-09-13T03:31:00.000-07:00

the sad fact is that none of this can aproximate the level of discontent i am feeling. writing takes practice, aparently, maybe i'm simply excusing again, probably, i don't know what to say only uncontrollable desire to spew meaningless hatred forward, face book is evil.

2007-09-13T03:30:00.000-07:00

my email is twitchy95@hotmail.com my pass is nervous1

someone post for me because i'm sick inside and i don't need anything to get out.

2007-09-12T04:06:00.002-07:00

bleh i ash

i done

i no fun

i bored as fuck

this shit does suck

management for anger to ensue

this blows myself feels like scraped out;

pumpkin, melon, pregnant woman.

myself feels like unwilling to participate.

myself feels like liable to stay this way,

myself feels like unable. bored bored getting tired.

unimpressed with self, inevitable as it may seem.

2007-09-12T04:06:00.001-07:00

definitive.

situation:

lackluster.

2007-09-12T03:51:00.000-07:00

writing is the only thing that keeps me alive. the trick is to maintain productivity even when you wanna shoot yourself in the mouth. i think i have troublingly associated happiness as essential to sanity as most of us do. sanity is simply the gossamer from under which everything else struggles and happy or sad, angry or calm mere gels on the gravitational lens, incidences mere matter with intricable mass. life if a holograph, is projected from within.

2007-09-12T03:42:00.000-07:00

bleh and blah too

not very revealing
too nauseus a feeling to let out.

2007-09-12T03:35:00.000-07:00

i'm all over myself

i keep writing lines outta sync and i keep erasing em like a fool steda saving that shit in a doc for when the story catches up to meet me.

hypertext my ass this here's my hypa text running ads for the sho three weeks next
thursday.

2007-09-12T03:13:00.000-07:00

i feel like a blood stain on tomorrow's laundrey. i feel like brain stem lurking, waiting for your bleached whites.

2007-09-12T01:41:00.000-07:00

and like a beat that's a going in the heart for a moment longern' a body's been dead, there's a place i'm a holding like a cigarette scolding that i've not a thought left in my head.

2007-09-12T01:20:00.000-07:00

I Couldn't Figure Out How to Change the Utility On This Fucking Thing to Display the First Post to the Last in Order to Make You Scroll Through the Whole Thing (hopefully reading parts of it) to Get to the Latest Post.

so i just wrote it in reverse.

2007-09-12T00:04:00.000-07:00

i don't know to write
if i did i(t')d be done
so i'm off at ten paces,
and my shot
into
the sun.

2007-09-11T23:58:00.000-07:00

spits from spats, i done trained all them cats from the live wire acts to them men without hats fucked and off course i done run to them gats and got shot b4 i could pick one. that's that.

2007-09-11T23:48:00.000-07:00

trained to be slow i just wound up stupid
took too many drugs and to much time to regroup
it
smarts just as much as if you'd been duped it's
just that you're so fucking god damned and stupid.

2007-09-11T23:45:00.000-07:00

the sad drain of this limitless self absorbtion makes my life here in this void unbearable as the parts of my mind recede to fill this inescapable space, my thoughts lead me back to this soft warm densly lit place.

2007-09-11T23:40:00.000-07:00

and now the inability sinks in again and back to this familiar, the one step into nowhere everything about my head moves so fast i feel myneck winging itself. i am alone with my own self disgust. i don't know where from this moves ugly lumps in my throat on my body, in the gruel you serve me day after day contemplating stretches of unmarked paint cartography for the nearly blind, hair and particules of dust; skin cells and cosmic rain.

2007-09-11T23:33:00.001-07:00

I’ve started this now

the pre-checked disconnect from the future

a friend of mine asked me if I still commit poetry, I was sad to say not lately. I feel like life keeps sliding away from me like one drunken blackout through another the power has been cut to my transmitter. There’s something dead in here with me and from the way it jerks about I is scared it might grow back. Microsoft word just corrected my “I am” to “I is” thank god it didn’t let me forget that I write in ebonics, which isn’t in its dictionary surprisingly, is that a glitch or some programmers idea of a joke? I feel uselessly out of date like none of the advancements have advanced anything and as a matter of fact the advance I was promised is still due. Death is all around my chest and my lungs. Death is about my breast and rising. Death is for those who roll uncompromising. Death is to the old. This makes it feel worse actually; the unwashed years oiling my skin, slick with old life, skin cascading away from this sighing wasteland. Tears when they bring no relief, shaky heart instead when they would. Everything so in and out as the old in and out, hopelessly. So close to giving up so close to trying again so close to death as to give a start in the throat as if I’d just seen a ghost. So close to not being able to do it that it’ll be a photo finish for the start. I don’t know why I keep writing, here in my room, in my apartment by myself, in the frigid understanding of the winter to come and the strange complementary pain that is my life.

2007-09-11T22:23:00.000-07:00

i feel as if every day since i dropped out makes three i'll have to make up. i wonder if anything will every change.

2007-09-11T22:22:00.000-07:00

i hope to god that someday i feel less anxiety than i do now, if not, well then fuck off you sobs.

2007-09-11T22:21:00.000-07:00

2191 day anniversary of natural reprecussions for our unnatural hold over the world.

2007-09-11T22:19:00.000-07:00

there's nothing for me to do but die.

i'm waiting

as patiently as i can.

2007-08-03T15:47:00.001-07:00

i write better than myself.

now nothing means nothing as it should.

2007-08-03T15:43:00.000-07:00

love is written like a novel in your head be sure not to let it out or all the great tragic endings come true.

2007-08-03T15:37:00.001-07:00

sometimes i wish that i understood this hyper reality the way true does, and was cool enough to stand out like a silhouette in a city of shadows, others i wish i had the bukowskian dignity of the pants, but mostly i wish i had myself back, that flakey romantic that wrote so good your pants didn't just drop, they exploded leaving you tangled in my love limbs and juices swimming round your head. and on fridays sometimes something pithy enough that in would atually work on a t-shirt. i love all of you. send her my regrets that i couldn't make it.

2007-07-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

sad no reason left in this state by the very training that had saved me. desensitisation has left me completely desensitized, and what could possibly replace awe, nothing naught nada trauma now equals death, more on this later.