has anyone collected enough data to conclusively diagnose me, probably not, but who cares?

this is mine that is yours can't we share not because.

everything about everything you've done is useless and stupid.

why does this hurt so much when i know, why do ou all care just where i'm at, make me beats that are fat and rare.

why does this all nag at me till you're worn theard bare.

i'm going away now quietly so you won't see i'm disappearing without sound you'll never know, but one day i'll be dead, this feeling driving me stop can't stay

oh maybe more, fuck, i am kind of a prick, and a pussy, the person i enjoy fucking the most... myself.

i've been in love twice for real,
although i was really crazy i wasn't making that up.
how many times have you?

the problem with me is i can't get going in anyone direction long enough to satisfy myself. i think i'm going to have to have it all.

boring is how i would mostly put it

people scare me, i guess mostly cuz they always want to fuck with me.

i am so hung over right now. i was so drunk i posted on my old blog. i don't think i'm all that right in the head. in fact i know i'm not... i don't remember anything about getting home but 6 bucks is missing so i guess i took a cab. my life eats ass, i however don't at least not right now, and not for a long time.

i ain't never felt rain so hard

join us in the walk to defeat life

help me quietly into this blackness

wait until i pass to make yours.

hold my hand because i think i'm dying, and if i'm correct, this moment should last forever, please don't leave me here.

i'm so calm and disappointed now.

i miss you love.

i'm waiting for a call i don't even want to get

akward and open and sore again.

and then i woke up and it was noon, and there was no one left to sing to and my thoughts emptied into the drink i had started to pour. the rain streaks my windows with after thoughts.

this hurts i hurt, no matter what i try something's always wrong i'm dramatically off kilter, i'm tired, i miss smelling woman in my clothes, my hair, my bed. i miss everything about love, i used to hide this true and bitter disappointment with angsty pining, but i haven't the energy to keep this up, i thiinnnk you're mostly assholes and jerks, morons and freaks, what is the fucking problem with you that you won't change, that you don't care.

this box is never full, no matter how many times you fill it up, when you open it again it will just be a screaming white page the negative frozen in time your image infinetly repeating

i need to do something about the way that i make money, i can't do this anymore, i am so tired and sad and everyday seems twice as long as the day before... and always this nagging that i'm not cut out for this, and things begin to float back to me, spiders weaving webs i'll never imitate, bukowski holding my hand and this emptiness can only swallow the sound of me falling in the echos bound by events streaming away from me horizons appearing in the mind.

that is all really, i wish i had more, but i need to wake up soon


people that are having fun will continue, but i will not.... because typing naked in a hoodie isn't really sexy while typing sweated out in a bra and comforter wrapped round the waist is.... fuck offf FUCK OFF all of you i wanna fall in love....... by whatever terms necessary, i don't care, someone please tell me what to do... i am sleeping now, because i must wake up at 7am to catch a bus at 8 to take me off island and learn me good on patience, i will kill you for every tme you forgt the bbq sauce, that's two now tony's, keep your ear to the ground

nobody will ever love me, because i suck

nobody will ever love me, because i suck

wtf I LOVE ALL OF U AND I WISH YOU'D DISAPPEAR.. I HAVE NOTHING NO ONE, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck I WISH THAT MADE A LARGER NOISE THAN IT DID..................... FUCK OFF.... FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

stick a candlestick up my ass, cuzs i really feel like keeping time... WTF i don't care... I'll never fall in love aqgain, yay! fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ALLL OF EVERYTHING... ME I'M SAD, ALOT, A BUNCH, FUCK OFF EVERYONE.

i wanna tell you one thing and one only...

i will probably never get this right agin.. i don't know what's wrong with me... i don't think i care.. but everyone is too big a jerk to let me know... fuck off... i wish i knew all of you but fuck off i never will... and on top of this... WTF i'm not really going to, hey maire andre... you make me horny, hey everyone have aq good time, no i'm definetly judst a fuck up i don't need anything of mine...

you know what i miss the most? ideas, ya wanna know why.. i don't care i'm gonna tell you, you're the sicko reading this... cuz they lead to ideals and ideals to constructs, constructs like love.. i miss love. details and concepts are much less filling.